Our story began on 12 January 2014 when I took a pregnancy test and it came up positive. I was 22 and did not really feel ready for motherhood. I was in two minds about whether to keep the baby or have an abortion. We were living in my mother’s small flat and certainly did not want to bring a child into a such place. We were thinking hard about it, refusing to believe I was really pregnant.
My doctor told me I was in the second week of pregnancy. I went to see my partner to tell him he is going to be a father. He replied that his mind was saying ‘no’ while his heart wanted a child. I have a loving partner. We used to look after a few kids in the past and were very good at it so why not have our own now. What we were concerned about was living with my mother in her poky, one-bedroom flat, which was something we could not handle and did not know how to solve. My employer helped me find a cosy little flat and we could start preparing it for our baby. Even our parents eventually came to terms with the fact that a baby was on her way. We were all looking forward to the baby and I underwent scheduled check-ups, none of which indicated any problems. I had an ultrasound scan in the 21st week but the doctor could not determine if it was a boy or a girl. On a second check-up, I was told that it looked like a girl but they were not sure. Sadly, my pregnancy was over before the next check-up.
When I was at 22 weeks, a heatwave hit with temperatures topping 30°C. I considered having a swim in a local pond that is quite clean and does not attract many people. We eventually decided to go there, and maybe that was a fatal mistake. The water was clear and I did not spend much time in it. When we got home, I immediately took a shower and went to bed, feeling good. The baby in my belly started growing and felt her first movements. Our town hosted municipal festivities on 28 June. I had doubts about going there because it is a noisy event but eventually we decided not to miss it. Seeing countless expecting mothers there and the baby sleeping sound in my belly took away some of my stress. We went home in the evening and everything seemed fine. Agonising pain in the middle of my back woke me up at 5:30 the next morning but I did not attach any importance to it. I had to go for a walk. When I got home, the pain subsided and I went to sleep again. My stomach started aching terribly at about 7 p.m. As the pain intensified, we called my partner’s mom, who told me that the belly was irritated and that I should place a warm washcloth on it and go to bed. The pain continued to grow and I could not lie any more. It was 8:32 p.m. when I got a severe stomachache. It struck me that contractions occurred every 5 minutes. The pain decreased for a while but it came back at 8:37 p.m. I started counting the intervals and became worried. I could neither lie nor sit and I doubled over with pain, crouching and leaning against a chair. It was all too weird, so we called the ambulance. A grumpy operator told me that it was nothing and that I should arrange my own transport to hospital if the pain persists. As the pain slightly decreased a few minutes later, we thought that perhaps my stomach is just a bit more bloated. I went to the toilet where I began to feel that I am in labour. Neither of us realised that it could be a premature birth. Our knowledge of premature births was virtually non-existent. When we called the ambulance again, the pain was such that I could hardly speak. The operator told me I was having contractions and sent the ambulance immediately. It took the ambulance 20 minutes to arrive and my pain slightly subsided by then.
On arrival at the hospital, I walked to the ultrasound scan room where a nurse scanned my stomach and everything seemed fine. She also asked if there was someone to drive me home and I said that I can walk back on my own. I was happy that nothing was wrong. Following the ultrasound scan where everything seemed all right, the nurse proceeded to an internal ultrasound scan and her face gave away that not everything is how it should be. She then examined me by hand. I will never forget the look in her face. She immediately called the head of the ward. Following a check-up, he said that the situation was critical and that I had to be rushed to a different hospital. They needed to get me fast to a specialist facility with equipment that can help save the baby. Doctors are required by law to attempt to save babies from 24 weeks onwards and I was at 24+3 weeks then. They called hospitals in Prague, Most and Ústí nad Labem. I did not really know what was going on and thought that I would lose the baby. I was not crying as I did not understand the situation and just wanted it to be over. It was a terrible feeling. They immediately injected me with medication to stop the contractions and with corticosteroids for the baby’s lungs to develop properly. The ambulance arrived about an hour later to take me to Ústí nad Labem. There was an old man, a woman and a young lad in it. A bit older than me, he grabbed my hand and held it all the way to the car, caressing me and saying not to worry because everything would turn out fine. That helped me a lot. Although the contractions subsided a little, I was vomiting all the way to the hospital. I do not know if that was caused by stress or the medication. The journey was terrible. On admission to the hospital, a nurse enquired about the baby’s name. It would be Kubíček if a boy, however we had not picked a girl’s name yet. I told the nurse my name was Marie, after my grandmother. Then they took me to the delivery room. I did not know what was happening and just wanted it to be over. I no longer stroked my belly that much. Totally perplexed, I was expecting the worst to happen and was anxious to go home. The next day, they took me to a room for expecting mothers and I was unable to even get out of bed. They told me I could go into labour any minute and that every minute I can keep the baby inside will be helpful. So, all I was allowed to do was lying with my feet up. After two days, doctor Pánek visited me. He was the only member of staff to properly explain what was going on with me, what has actually happened and what will happen to my newborn baby. He gave me hope that my baby may survive and I will never forget the way he treated me. His professionalism helped me so much and I am grateful for how he behaved to me and for the patience with which he answered all of my questions. What an amazing person. Despite his explanation, I still did not understand why I was giving birth prematurely. As my baby was lying sideways, she had to be delivered by Caesarean section. My daughter was born at 9:32 a.m. I woke up the same afternoon and was told that I have a daughter, Maruška. Her birth weight was 650 grams. Then I fell back asleep. Later on, I was told they had injected pure morphine in me. I was on opiates and what I felt defies description. My partner phoned to tell me we have a daughter but I did not remember anything. When I first saw my little daughter, she was really tiny, but not as tiny as I thought she would be.
I was just crying and feeling absolutely helpless when I first saw her in the incubator. I just knew that I love her so much and do not want to lose her. I asked God to take my life and spare hers. The staff in the intensive and resuscitation care unit told me that the two most critical things were the first 72 hours and a digit on a device monitoring the baby’s life functions that should not drop below 24. I guess it was the digit indicating saturation and it showed 24 for Maruška on her third day. I feared she would die but hoped and believed that her condition would improve. She was put on a CPAP machine but that did not help so she had to be intubated again. She also contracted a stomach infection, which was successfully treated with antibiotics, and was again put on a CPAP machine. Two days later, she was re-connected to a ventilator. This happened twice. After a month, she was put back on a CPAP machine and I could place her on my breast for the first time. At that time, her weight was about 900 grams. It was an incredible feeling to have such a tiny and helpless baby on my breast. She was slowly growing and luckily did not contract any other infection. Two months later, she was transferred to the intermediary ward where she also had a CPAP machine to help her breathe. Maruška was gaining weight and the oxygen doses decreased, with some exceptions, over time. She was doing fine and ate more and more. At the beginning of September, she was transferred to bed and sometimes needed an extra inflow of oxygen. She weighed about 2 kg at that time. I regularly practiced kangaroo mother care and was allowed to cradle her after a while. They started bottle-feeding Maruška at that time. She drank about 10 ml and received the rest through a tube. As she started eating more and more on her own, I began to get ready to be with her.
The hospital staff called me in early October to come but I was down with the flu. I was desperate, feeling that others assume I refuse to take care of our daughter. I cried for days. Again, it was doctor Pánek and doctor Hitka, who calmed me down by saying that any illness, however minor, means I cannot see her. It took me a week to recover from the flu and on 12 October 2014 I came to the hospital. I felt incredibly happy when they brought Maruška to my room and we could be together, just the two of us. She was doing really well. They taught us how to do the Vojta exercises and how to bathe her. 16 October was our D day when we took Maruška home - 2 days before her due date. Her weight was 2,900 grams. It is 21 October today and we went for our first stroll to see our doctor yesterday. She gained 40 grams, eats 60 millilitres, suffers from the occasional farts. Today is her 5th day at home and it is indescribable. She receives vitamins three times a day (Aktiferin), two drops of Vigantol (iron) and inhales twice a day, first Ecobec and then Berodual. Maruška looks like a full-term beautiful baby. I was told that her brain is growing slower than her skull but it should catch up within three months and I firmly believe it will. There is a tiny haemangioma on her back, looking like a small blood-filled blister, so we need to be careful. It may grow. She will be inoculated soon and monitored by a neurologist and other doctors. What is most important is that she is growing and that even such a small baby has a chance to live a full life.
While Maruška was in hospital, I read stories of mothers who also gave birth prematurely. I hoped that one day I would be one of those mothers and share my story. And that day has come. Today, Maruška has been home for four days and has got quite used to the place. We are happy beyond words and will do our best to raise her to have as big a heart as the people who were looking after her during the hospitalisation. I wish to take this opportunity to thank all the medical staff of the intensive and resuscitation care unit, intensive care unit and the intermediary ward in Ústí nad Labem, to the nurses from the postnatal ward and to all doctors who looked after me before the birth. First and foremost, I want to thank doctor Hitka and Mr and Mrs Pánek, who really are angels in human disguise. It is hard to put into words how grateful we are to them. To conclude, I wish every luck to all mothers who are going through something similar, and health and strength to their babies. Moms, do not worry. The babies will make it. They are much stronger than we are and even though you may think all is lost, it need not be. Keep the faith and everything will be fine. Both my partner and I were utterly desperate but now we enjoy every day with our almost three-kilo daughter.